"Taming the Tongue"

Taming The Tongue – Part 1

Psalm 39:1-5 (NLT)

I said to myself, “I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me.” 2  But as I stood there in silence— not even speaking of good things— the turmoil within me grew worse. 3  The more I thought about it, the hotter I got, igniting a fire of words: 4  “LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. 5  You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.” 

This is one of David’s earlier Psalms, written perhaps as he was a boy tending sheep. He had talked in haste and said something that he should not have said, and in this Psalm he is correcting himself. After David had spoken that which he should not have said, he then, realizing his error, became quiet. Notice verses 1 and 2. Then in verse 8 he asks forgiveness and shows that after he made his mistake, he did not speak.

This Psalm was used as instruction to God’s children concerning the tongue and saying things that should be said. If our tongues are to be controlled properly, our minds must be clean and pure, for the Bible says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” and what we are on the inside will eventually come out.

Self-Control

In our scripture, David was angry, hurt, discouraged and angry. This caused him to lose self-control and say some things that he should not have said.

Scripture says this about self-control… To exercise self- control is to discipline ourselves, set boundaries, and rule over our actions. A lack of self-control, then, leads to the free reign of fleshly, worldly patterns that end up exercising control over us. What is in your sinful nature that causes you to lack self-control in your relationship?

Control Your Tongue

Psalm 141:1-4 (NLT)

O LORD, I am calling to you. Please hurry! Listen when I cry to you for help! 2  Accept my prayer as incense offered to you, and my upraised hands as an evening offering. 3  Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips. 4  Don’t let me drift toward evil or take part in acts of wickedness. Don’t let me share in the delicacies of those who do wrong.

Give Example

 Argument between couple

 Kids basketball game

 Shared about special plans for his birthday; he said something slick; on and poppin’

 Went from 0-60

 I wondered what could have happened in that short amount of time to make them lose all self-control of their tongue

Spiritual Maturity

I oftentimes hear people say these things

 I have mouth on me

 If the wrong buttons are pushed

 If somebody comes at me wrong

 If things don’t go my way or we don’t get what we want

Paul puts it like this in 1 Corinthians 3:1-3 (NIV)

Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ.  2  I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready.  3  You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? 

 Quit making excuses about your mouth

 Choose nice over evil

 Yes it’s a choice

 You can choose what to say or how to respond

 It’s time to grow up and stop being a child

 God will not bless you or address your problems
because you are not mature with your tongue

 Evil will still come out of your mouth

Anatomy illustration:

 Your tongue is a voluntary muscle

 only weighs on average 70 grams and is 3 inches

 Your heart is a non-voluntary muscle in terms of its anatomy; voluntary in terms of what you allow to enter

 It weighs 290 grams

 What they have in common is that they can only do what the brain or mind tells them to do

 Give example (receptors tell the tongue to move up/down; emotions tell your heart how to feel)

 Nothing can happen without first going to the mind

 That’s why the bible says renew your mind and have 

Romans 12:2 (NLT)

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Psalm 51:10 (ESV)

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm 139:23-24 (NASB)

Search me, God, and know my heart; Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts; 24  And see if there is any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

 You can choose what comes out of your mouth just like you can choose to move your arm

 What comes out of you mouth, comes from your heart, controlled by the wat you think

 Renew your mind will change your heart and the rest will follow

 We are talking about a heart issue

 And sometimes we are being tested to see exactly what kind of heart we have

Matthew 15:18 (NIV)- But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.

Root Of The Matter

For every believer there are two emotions that we need to guard our hearts from, and these two destructive emotions are bitterness and anger.

And if we allow these two emotions to fester and take charge of our hearts, they can cause division among believers. These emotions that can break relationships and can seriously hinder a person’s fate.

Hebrews 12:15 says, “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”

Notice that this verse doesn’t warn us to be cautious of bitterness itself, it pleads with us to be cautious of the root of this bitterness in our heart

Paul was careful and intentional in his use of this analogy. So, let’s consider the life of a plant; usually we can’t see a seed after it’s been put into the ground nor can we see its roots, but we do see the fruit and we do see the flowers once they pierce the Earth and come above ground much like bitterness; the root of a plant is not visible to the naked eye.

We may only be aware that a seed was planted when we see the fruit. See, Paul knew that bitterness was so destructive that it needed to be uprooted as soon as the seed germinated or plant developed.

He didn’t warn the Hebrews to dispose of the fruit of bitterness, he knew that when you see the fruit of bitterness. It’s much too late then. The heart has been pricked

If we wait for bitterness to be visible above ground, we risk being a threat to others. And perhaps, this is why the Bible says see to it that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble and by it many become defiled. This means that before bitterness even gets to the surface, we should eradicate it in the heart

Now here’s what the Bible says about anger

James 1:19-20 says, “Understand this my beloved brothers and sisters, let everyone be quick to hear; slow to speak and slow to anger, the anger of a man does not produce the righteousness of God”

The Bible doesn’t tell us not to be angry; it tells us not to sin by letting anger control us. This is because anger can be like a wildfire. It leaves behind destruction and ruin. Just like our tongue

Close

Psalm 34:13 (NIV) – keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.

Proverbs 18:20-21 (NIV) – From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied. 21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

1 Peter 3:10 (NIV) – For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) – Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.