"Life in the blender"

Life In The Blender (Part 1)

Read Genesis 21:8-18 (NLT)

  In the next few weeks, as we look at God’s design and intention for families, there will be a lot of pain. We know that a lot of marriages are struggling. Some may be considering divorce. Others have been through the heartache and pain of divorce, either personally or in a family member’s life. Yet in the midst of this, our God is a God of grace and mercy. God gives us healing and hope and He gives us the power of the resurrection to makes the needed changes. Some of you may feel hopeless in your current circumstances. You may feel that all of the love is gone. But this we know: with God all things are possible. Relationships are based on commitment and it is out of that the miracle of repentance, reconciliation and love occurs.

Today, the family structure in America is more diverse than ever before. This message is going to look at one of the fastest growing types of families: blended families. The term “blended family” is the label for the home that is putting two families together.

In a nationwide Pew Research survey, 42% of adults polled said they had at least one step-relative. Current estimates are that 40% of married couples with children in the US are blended families and approximately one-third of all weddings in America today form blended families. Since most divorced people do tend to remarry, the blended family becomes more and more common every day. Of the one million children experiencing the divorce of their parents each year, 65% will end up in a blended
family due to the remarriage of one or both biological parents. Many predict the blended family will become the predominant family structure in the United States.

Blending families is difficult but not impossible. The task of today’s message is all the more challenging because I can’t find one successful blending of families in the Bible. Jacob tried to blend 2 families with disastrous results. He tried blending his first wife Leah and her children with Leah’s sister Rachael, Jacobs’s second wife, and her children. Jacob’s family was eventually destroyed by jealousy, murder, rape, deceit, and favoritism. David began with first wife Michael and married as many as 28 more. His last wife was the infamous Bathsheba. Among his children we read of murder, rape, rebellion, incest, hatred, bitterness and anger. Solomon, one of David’s sons, wrote the wisdom book Proverbs.

It contain many, many impassioned pleas to have only one wife, perhaps because of his own experience! In fact at the end of his life, he advised us to “rejoice with the wife of our youth” (Proverb 5:18). Looking back, the multiple families he created were more trouble than it was worth. Having grown up in a blended family and created one of his own, experiencing all the resulting turmoil and pain, he didn’t want anyone else to have to go through what he did.

Now the blended family I want to preach about today is the one of Abraham. Abraham tried to blend Sarah and her son Isaac with Hagar and her son Ishmael whom she had with Abraham. I want to point out three things of significance

Baby Mama Drama

Read Genesis 21:8-10 (NLT)

When Isaac grew up and was about to be weaned, Abraham prepared a huge feast to celebrate the occasion.  9  But Sarah saw Ishmael—the son of Abraham and her Egyptian servant Hagar—making fun of her son, Isaac. 10  So she turned to Abraham and demanded, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son. He is not going to share the inheritance with my son, Isaac. I won’t have it!”

 Isaac was about 3 yrs old; Ishmael was about 17 yrs. old

 Hagar was in a broken and shattered relationship with Abraham

 Everything was cool until Abraham and Sarah has Isaac

 Then there was some baby mama drama and Ishmael had to go away

 In a blended family, you have to accept the child and the other parent

 They are part of the deal; part of the family now

 And if you decide to have a child TOGETHER, you have to accept that other children are going to feel “some type of way”

 You can’t show partiality because God doesn’t show partiality

Read Romans 2:9-11 (NLT)

There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on doing what is evil—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. 10  But there will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile.  11  For God does not show favoritism.

Stand Up For Right

Read Genesis 21:11-14 (NLT)

This upset Abraham very much because Ishmael was his son.  12  But God told Abraham, “Do not be upset over the boy and your servant. Do whatever Sarah tells you, for Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.  13  But I will also make a nation of the descendants of Hagar’s son because he is your son, too.” 14  So Abraham got up early the next morning, prepared food and a container of water, and strapped them on Hagar’s shoulders. Then he sent her away with their son, and she wandered aimlessly in the wilderness of Beersheba.

 Abraham is a multi-millionaire

 All he gave her was some water and food one time; that was his child support

 After a while, everything ran out; they were wandering in the wilderness

 While Abraham was still ballin’ out of control; but not responsible

 Still your family. Now, you and your spouse have use your finances to help out

 Gotta have conversations about money

 Have to do what is right, fair and just

Read Micah 6:8 (NLT)

No, O people, the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

He All Grown Up Now

Read Genesis 21:15-18 (NLT)

When the water was gone, she put the boy in the shade of a bush.  16  Then she went and sat down by herself about a hundred yards away. “I don’t want to watch the boy die,” she said, as she burst into tears. 17  But God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven, “Hagar, what’s wrong? Do not be afraid! God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.  18  Go to him and comfort him, for I will make a great nation from his descendants.”

 Ishmael is 17 now, but has delayed development; he is still called a boy

 He is a boy, but he should be transitioning to a man

 If you are 17 and still being called a boy; you have some delayed development going on

 Remember, Abraham put the food and water on Hagar’s shoulders; not the 17 year old boy

 Why is your momma carrying everything and you are 17?

 Then his momma took a 17 year old boy and put him under the bush

 Can’t a 17 year old find his own way to the bush

 See some of us, don’t want our children going through any difficulty by the “step-parent”

 Not knowing that God is using that difficulty to help

your daughter go from girlhood to womanhood and your son go from boyhood to manhood. I hear people all the time saying that they had all these issues and challenges growing up. They don’t want their child to go through what they had to go through. They don’t want them to go through the pain and the suffering. So, you do everything for your child. You make everything easy. Everything they want, you give it to them. We have to understand that struggles build your strength, chaos builds character. Now, you know how to survive and thrive.

I once heard an author talk about getting our children from boyhood to manhood. This is what he says about three “hoods”. Male hood, boyhood and manhood

 Do not confuse male hood with manhood

 You can be a male and still not be a man

 Male hood is based on body parts; you can have the body parts of a male and still not be a man

 Boyhood is not based on age; there are 40 and 50 year old boys

 You can discern what a boy is by the dependence on his mother

 If you still depending on your mother to feed you, cloth you, give you somewhere to stay, provide you with transportation, give you money and buy you toys…you got some issues

 He says that when we get older, boys still play with toys just the toys have gotten bigger (cars, boats, computer games),but the boy is still dependent on his mother

 He’ll move from his mother to another woman and depend on the woman to do for him what his momma was doing for him

 Manhood is different; it is based on your relationship with God

Read Genesis 21:20 (NLT)

And God was with the boy as he grew up in the wilderness. He became a skillful archer,

Take the time to invest in your marriage and blended family. Allow God to lead the way.

Luke 11:17 says, “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.