"We IN This together"

We In This Together

Read Matthew 7:7-12 (NASB)

I’d like you to answer this question with one word. Listen carefully.

What is life all about? How would you answer that?

What’s life all about? Life is all about relationships—relationships with your family, your friends, your co-workers, relationships with yourself, relationships with strangers though it may be brief, relationship with God.

Life is all about relationships because, you see, if you take relationships out of your life, what do you have? The only thing you have are things that are material, secular, and meaningless. Because without relationships, how can you enjoy anything in life? Relationships are very important.

In fact, they affect every single area of our life. They really determine whether you’re happy or unhappy. They determine whether you have real peace or not. Relationships are essential in business, in your family, relationships to your children, in every aspect of your life, relationships are very important.

How would you judge your relationships with your husband or your wife, with your children, with your parents, with your friends, with your co-workers? How do you relate to people that you meet for the first time?

Oftentimes we can just take relationships for granted, but not really. We must learn how to do it. And Jesus gave us the basis of strong relationships in one single verse of scripture found in Matthew 7:12 (Sermon on the Mount), a verse of scripture that many people will say, “oh, I know that verse of scripture.” Well, you know what? Knowing how to quote a verse and knowing how to practice a verse is two different things. And oftentimes we can quote a verse, we know it by heart, and we know what it says–at least, we think we do–and, therefore, because we can quote it, we think we practice it–not necessarily.

Jesus has just begun to talk about prayer, and He says, “Ask and it shall be given you and seek and you shall find and knock and it shall be opened.” Then He talks about how the heavenly Father desires to answer our prayers.

And when He finishes that, He says in verse 12, “In everything–” (not some things, not most things). “In everything, therefore, treat the people the same way you want them to treat you. This is the Law and the Prophets.” Look at that. He says, “Treat people the same way you want them to treat you. This is the Law and the Prophets.” Somebody says, “Now, wait a minute. That’s not practical.” Would Jesus, who is the Son of God, tell us to do something that’s not practical? No, He would not. Do something we cannot do? No, He would not.

And if you’ll notice, He says “in everything,” not when it’s convenient or not convenient, not at specific times, not at other times. And you’ll notice He says, “treat people.” What does He mean?

That means everyone. I can’t pick and choose when to be obedient to God. I can treat this person the way I want them to treat me, but another person differently. He says, “In everything, treat people”–that is, everyone–“the same way you want them to treat you.” Now, it’s very evident that many people who call this the Golden Rule and who know this passage by heart and will say to us, “oh, I know that passage,” the truth is they don’t practice it.

Ask yourself the question: Do you really and truly treat people the way you want to be treated? Well, it’s very evident that oftentimes we do not. At some point of time in our lives, we’ve rationalized that away by saying, “well, but you don’t know how badly they’ve hurt me.

You don’t know how they’ve treated me. If you only knew how they had treated me…” Listen, it’s not a matter of what you and I expect. Jesus said this is one of His commands, and His command is that you and I treat other people the way we want to be treated. No questions asked.

I want to begin by simply giving you a list of words that are characteristics, character traits, actions that you and I should take if we want to build strong relationships.

I want to encourage you to write them down because you can’t just listen to this message and walk away and practice it. This message affects your marriage, your relationship to your children, your parents, your friends, your co-workers, God, and yourself. Now, when you think about a strong relationship, what would be involved in a strong relationship? So, write these words down.

A strong relationship is going to be:

Enjoyable.

Satisfying.

It involves loyalty one to the other.

Trusting each other; sense of truthfulness (Just know that lying and deception, manipulation will destroy a relationship)
Mutual interest

There’s a genuine concern for the other person’s welfare, not only today but also for their future.

There’s a desire to please the other person.

You pray for one another. You call each other’s name before God.

You desire the best for one another whatever that may be.

You will protect each other, protect them when people falsely accuse them and from physical harm

You’re forgiving. We all offend each other at times. We say things we should not say. You want to forgive, and you certainly want to be forgiven in return.

You’re an encourager. You want to encourage that person any way you possibly can.

You’re going to be generous, not stingy and tight.

You’re going to be looking for ways to say or do things that you know would bring them a sense of happiness/joy

You respect that person. You accept and honor them as who they are, just the way they are. You don’t try to change them. Accepting them as they are.

And, of course, above everything else, loving that person.

You say, “Well, I don’t know of anybody I feel that way towards.” Well, maybe you ought to start changing. Listen if you want a strong relationship, you have to give a strong relationship. Don’t you want to be accepted and loved and supported and loyal and truthful and all the rest? Yes, you do. Well, those things don’t come automatically. It doesn’t just happen.

Just because you say it, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. You have to work at building strong relationships. For example, let’s look at our children. People have great difficulty with their children because they don’t know how to build a relationship. You think just because you’re the mother and father and you have the final word, what you say is the law, but what about building a relationship with your children that they enjoy, they love being with you, they want to be supportive of you, they want to tell you the truth? They genuinely care for you.

And just look around, you’ll see the kind of struggle that people are having. Look, for example, among labor and employees and employers and the strife, the discord, the discussions, the arguments, the deception, the manipulation that goes on, why?
They don’t know how to build relationships with people that they can enjoy working with. Why do you think our courts are so full, running over on the schedule with lawsuits? We can’t get along. We don’t know how to treat each other.

If I make a mistake, I admit that and we go on in life. But, no, we got to take people to court and sue them, get everything we possibly can– greed and selfishness and all the rest. And, you see, when you don’t have a good relationship with someone, selfishness, self-centeredness, and pride and greed can enter in very easily.

Ask yourself the question: Are you building strong relationships with people? What kind of home life, what kind of nation do we have that we no longer know how to treat each other? Then we wonder why all the strife and all the heartache and the way we mistreat each other and abuse, verbal and sexual and physical abuse, and all the rest.

What in the world has happened? Jesus made it very clear. He said, “Treat other people the way you want them to treat you.” Say, “Well now, I’ve heard that all of my life.” Well, you may have heard it, but how much of it have you practiced?

In fact, do you even understand what it means? Do you understand what it means to treat someone else the way you want them to treat you? And it’s very evident when we look around: That’s not the way people are living.

That’s why most homes are in turmoil. Most people in their relationship to their kids having all kinds of difficulty, why? Jesus gave us in one single verse–the problem is we don’t understand the verse. Now, if you’ll think about– this is a command and a principle. It is a command that reveals the very heart of God. It is a command that tells us how God thinks about us.

It tells us how God wants you and me to treat one another. You don’t have to read the whole Bible to find that out. You can read one verse, and the verse says, God says, “I want you to treat other people the way you want them to treat you.” It’s just that simple.

And yet, in spite of that, we rationalize it and we say, “well, you know, I understand that’s possibly true, and I understand this and I understand that.” It is a principle, and it is a command. It is a principle by which you and I are to live. And, you see, if I disobey this command, I’m being disobedient to Jesus.

Somebody says, “well nobody’s perfect.” We’re not talking about being perfect. We’re talking about the way you and I are to treat each other. Because if we treat each other right, we treat each other the way Jesus said.

We’re able to build godly relationships–listen to this– strong relationships, great relationships, the kind of relationships that all of us need, that stand the test of trials and the test of time in life. All of us need those kinds of relationships. How many relationships do you have like that? How many people can you really trust? How many people do you really have absolute confidence in? How many people do you know who support you, who will be loyal to you, trust you, who will undergird you, encourage you, pray for you, be generous towards you, give to you in times when you are in need? How many people do you know like that?

Watch this question: How many people do you act that way toward? How many people do you feel that way toward? You see, listen carefully: We live in a society that’s wrapped up in the triad: me, myself, and I. We’ve become a selfish and a very self-centered generation of people.

We have so much, but we act like we don’t have enough because we can’t figure out what enough is. And let me just say this: You can’t get enough things, material things or prestige or prominence or popularity or any of the rest that will even begin to substitute for one great, strong, satisfying, enjoyable relationship. Because you can have all the stuff life has to provide, but if you don’t have a loving relationship, you know what? You’ve missed it. Life isn’t about things; life’s about relationships—our relationship to ourselves; to Jesus, to our friends; our family and even strangers.

What kind of relationships do you have? Now, let’s think about this verse for a moment because oftentimes people misinterpret it.
Somebody says, “well, I don’t hurt people, I don’t lie to people, I don’t manipulate people, I don’t do this, and I don’t do that.” That’s not even the issue. The issue’s not what you don’t do. A person who’s not even a Christian, who doesn’t even know anything about Jesus, who’s not even religious would fall in the category of people.

Jesus said, “treat them,” positive action. Treat them the way you want to be treated. To boast about what you don’t do to people is not even the issue.

The issue is how do you treat them? How do you want them to treat you? And it’s very important that we understand what Jesus said in this simple verse. Listen, “in everything–” that is, in every circumstance, in every situation, how are we to respond to those around us? We’re to treat them in the same way we want to be treated, listen, if we were in their circumstance; that is, I am to treat the other person the way I want them to treat me.

How do I want them to treat me? Well, now there’s a little catch at this, and I want you to watch this carefully. Because, you see, I wonder if you’ve ever asked yourself the question “How do I want to treat people, and how do I want people to treat me?” Have you ever thought about that? How do I want people to treat me? Could you even answer that question?

You say, “Well, why is that so important?” I’m going to show you in a moment why it’s extremely important that you know how you want people to treat you. How many words would it take you describe your sentiment? Make a list. What I want you to think about seriously–do you know how you want people to treat you? How do you want your significant other to treat you? How do you want your family, friends, children, boss to treat you?

We don’t think about that until we get in some situation, and in the midst of the situation, then we’re trying to figure out what our feelings are. Well, let’s say if somebody hurts your feelings really badly with something they say. How do you feel? And let’s say, for example, that you hurt their feelings. How do you want them to respond? Have you ever just stopped to think, “How do I want people to treat me in every aspect of my life?” For example, let’s take the lady, the mother, let’s take the wife. She cooks this fantastic meal, but she tries two or three things she’s never cooked before, and she’s given her best, and she sits down at the table and big smile, wondering how you’re going to respond, and you say, “What’s that?” That is not the right way to respond.

Or she comes out and you’re going somewhere for the evening, and you say, “Are you going to wear that?” That’s not the way you want to respond. Is that what you would want her to say to you if you walked out in a suit or an outfit that you thought looked “drip” or “cleaner than the board of health” and she thinks it’s terrible? Do you want her to say, “Well, are you going to wear that mess?” No, you don’t. You know what? We hurt each other. We have misunderstandings. We create them because we don’t stop to think, “How do I want someone to treat me?”

Here’s the catch: Whatever you decide about how you want people to treat you, you make a commitment, automatically, that’s the way you intend to treat everybody else. So when you make your list, you have to ask yourself the question, “Am I willing to treat everybody else the same way?” Listen to what Jesus said. He made it very clear. “In everything treat people the same way you want them to treat you. “So if I decide how I want you to treat me, if I’m obedient to His command, then what I’m saying is, therefore, this is the way I’m going to treat you.

You see, the world can’t understand this because the world believes “I beat you to it before you beat me.” Greed, selfishness, self-centeredness reeks in our society. And so you must come along and show them a whole different lifestyle. You change the game. You’re asking the question “Now, how do I want that person to treat me? I don’t care what they do. That’s the way I’m going to treat them.” Now, you just blew their mind.

All of us have enough naturalness in us. When somebody wrongs you or says the wrong thing and you snap back. You snap back so quickly to defend yourself. Is that necessary? Not really. Ask and trust the Holy Spirit to guard your tongue.

Suppose you said, “Well, I appreciate you telling me how you feel.” Their response may be, “What do you mean you appreciate me telling you how–I just told you off, and you’re telling me you appreciate it?” “Yes, I do, now I know how you feel toward me.” You know what? They don’t know how to handle that. Why? Because the natural man and woman–that is, the person who does not know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior–they’ve grown up in a society that believes in an “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.” Now, in our society today, it’s not an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, it’s many eyes for an eye, and many tooth for a tooth.

Here’s what it takes: It takes a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ, because everything in us, the naturalness with which we came into this world, Paul calls the flesh, our old carnality, those propensities towards sin and disobedience that lie within all of us–we have to deal with that, and it is only when Christ comes into our life and we begin to honor Him as our Lord and we begin to follow Him as our Savior, then He empowers us with Spirit of God who lives within us to be forgiving, to be thoughtful, to be kind and not to be prejudiced toward people, but to be what? To be willing not to pick and choose, but to treat everybody the same way.

Listen, He is the only one who can enable you to live this out, to help you understand “what are the desires of my heart, and how do I want people to treat me, and how do I, therefore, want to treat them in return. Treat them the way I want them to treat me.” It takes a relationship with our Lord. Listen to these verses, and there are many, many verses that you and I can talk about.

Listen to what He says in Matthew 10:8, “Freely you have been given; freely give to others.” Think about how the Lord’s given you so much. Freely give to others. You want other people to give to you? Freely give to them.

In Luke 6:38, he says (watch this verse), “Give and it shall be given to you,” how? “They will pour into your lap a good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.” What is “it”? What’s the “it”? Anything and everything.

You say, “Now, wait a minute. You mean to tell me that if I treat people the way I want to be treated, that they’re going to treat me right?” I can’t guarantee that. I can guarantee you this.

Listen carefully: When you treat people the way you want to be treated–in a Godly fashion– our heavenly Father is going to see to it that you get treated by Him through somebody, through others, maybe through many, the way you want to be treated. It may not even be the person that you want or the one who wronged you, but He’s not going to overlook your obedience to Him.
And I can think in times in my life where maybe someone else has mistreated me and I tried to treat them the way I want to be treated and they didn’t treat me that way, but you know what? God supplied that treatment in ways I would never have been able to imagine, in an abundance I could never begin to enjoy.

So let’s say you live with somebody who’s not treating you right and you try your best to treat them the way you want to be treated and they don’t treat you that way. You say, “Well, now, how long am I to do that?” Does this verse say, “In everything, for a short period of time treat-” No, He doesn’t say that. When you and I obey this command–please don’t overlook this: you never come up short when you do the right thing. Listen, God isn’t going to come up short when you obey Him no matter what the situation or circumstance.

Listen, it’s never a failure, it’s never a sign of weakness when you treat people the way you want to be treated. And does He not say in His scripture very clearly, He says–listen to this, watch this. “Whatsoever a man or woman sows, that shall they also reap.” Reap what? What they sow, more than they sow, later than they sow.

You can’t determine what field it’s coming from. When we do the right thing, God always honors that. When people mistreat us, it makes no difference. Oftentimes, He’ll give us the privilege of doing something kind.

Let me give you an example. Some years ago, somebody I thought was a friend verbally criticized me to a group of people in a way that I would never have imagined and never gave me a reason for doing so. And a couple of times I thought I was going to meet them, and I was going to confront them, but it never happened. Not long ago, this person and I happened to be at an ice cream social for back-to-school night. I thought, “Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, dear Lord.” Cause I was about to give him the business. So, we’d been talking there a few moments and he shared he had a situation. He’d just lost his job. And I had an opening. And you know what? I felt fantastic for a moment. Then the Holy Spirit spoke to me.

I decided that I didn’t want to hold what he said against me. I don’t want to retaliate. Instead, I offered him a job. I know that this is what I would want you to do to me and for me if the shoe was on the other foot.”

Do you think he’ll forget that? It doesn’t make any difference to me whether he does or not. What matters is I know that I did the best thing I knew to do to express what I felt: no hard feelings, no animosity, no unforgiveness, no hostility, no anger, no anything because I knew my heart was right with Almighty God.

You will never be able to determine the impact of your life when you live out this simple principle. And when you live it out, here’s what’s going to happen. Now watch this. When you treat people the way you want them to treat you, you’re going to have this sense of accomplishment that you’ve done the right thing. Secondly, you’re going to have the love in your heart that you’ve just pleased God. Thirdly, you’re going to have this sense of excitement of “how is God now going to treat me through others when I treat this person the way I know that I want to be treated? How is God going to restore all this?” We don’t have to worry about the consequences. He assumes the full responsibility for our future.